WWF Saturday Night's Main Event VII Review

WWF Saturday Night's Main Event VII Review
November 26, 2012 (edited December 8, 2023)
By Ryan Porzl

Event: Saturday Night's Main Event VII
Tagline: None
Date: October 4, 1986
Location: Richfield, Ohio
Live or Tape: Tape (Taped September 13, 1986)
Arena: Richfield Coliseum
Attendance: 21,000
Announcers: Vince McMahon and Jesse “The Body” Ventura
Interviewers: “Mean” Gene Okerlund
Broadcast: NBC

Jesse "The Body" Ventura welcomes us to a new season of Saturday Night's Main Event. Of course, the pleasure is all ours.

This is the first SNME to feature the awesome opening with various wrestlers cutting promos with that cool, suspenseful music. We start with Jake Roberts in the shower with Damien introducing himself and Damien as his wild and wet friend. He says how there are winners and losers in the world. Roberts says Steamboat is a loser and he's the Ultimate Winner cause the DDT has never failed them (Roberts and Damien).

"Luscious" Johnny V and the Dream Team are next with V say they're going to regain the Tag Team Titles and The British Bulldogs are full of British Bull. V says they can take that to the bank while The Dream Team say they'll take the dogs to the pound.

The Wizard says Kamala is jungle born and jungle bred. He is the WWF Superstars destiny.

Paul Orndorff and Bobby "The Brain" Heenan are in a dressing room with Heenan pacing back and forth as Orndorff poses with three mirrors. Heenan says they are looking at the three of the greatest physiques (the three reflections of Orndorff) of wrestling. Also #1 the next heavyweight champion of the world. Orndorff says #2, the man who left Hulk Hogan laying in the ring. Heenan say #3 is the only "real american". Orndorff then points to the camera and tells Hogan he hurt him before calling him a crybaby.

Hulk Hogan is in the locker room telling us Hulkamanics it's the night we've been waiting for. He says Orndorff sold out because of jealousy and he had it all. Hogan asks the $64,000 question; what's Orndorff going to do when Hulkamania runs wild on him?

We cut to intro.

Vince and Ventura welcome us to the show. Vince brings up Piper being scheduled to compete but got injured.

"Mean" Gene Okerlund interviews "Rowdy" Roddy Piper. They show clips of Piper getting injured by "Adorable" Adrian Adonis, "Cowboy" Bob Orton, and Magnificent Muraco from the September 26, 1986 edition of Superstars of Wrestling. Okerlund tells him he's not wrestling tonight but Piper asks if Okerlund is telling him he's not wrestling tonight because of some goof in a dress and two fat hogs hurt him? He then asks Okerlund if he's saying he's not wrestling tonight but Okerlund says it's the doctor. Piper tells the doctor to go out and deliver a baby cause he's no baby. Piper says he'll wrestle if he wants to and nobody will tell him what to do. He says there's a difference between him and other wrestlers and thank god for that. A solid promo that'll set things up for later.

We get clips of Orndroff turning on Hogan and rejoining the Heenan Family from the July 19, 1986 edition of Championship Wrestling.

Hulk Hogan is in the back and can't believe it's happening. He said he and Orndorff were blood brothers but Orndorff sold him out for jealousy. He claims god created the Earth, the hulkamaniacs, and the 24 inch pythons to straighten people up and who don't realize who the boss is. Hogan says the old Mr. Wonderful is back like he got a new paint job but he's the run down, broken down Hulkster that just keeps running better. He says loyalty is important and ultimate trust which he has with his hulkamaniacs and he'll smoke through Orndorff. The Hulkster says it shall be done that Mr. Wonderful's time has come. Really good promo from Hogan and nice intensity.

"Mean" Gene interviews Paul Orndorff and Bobby "The Brain" Heenan. They both say Hogan is a liar. Orndorff is going to rip his tongue out and put it on his new championship belt. After Okerlund says all of America will be behind Hogan; Heenan says they'll be behind Orndorff and they have the music to prove it. Heenan was good while Orndorff was, uh, interesting.

WWF Championship: Hulk Hogan (c) vs. Paul Orndorff (w/Bobby "the Brain" Heenan)- In a cool bit, Orndorff comes out to "Real American" as his theme and does Hogan's ear taunt. Hogan then heads to the ring, walking past Okerlund. It's little things like these that make a feud better.

Hogan charges in the corner with a double ax handle but misses. Orndorff hammers away with punches but Hogan no-sells and retaliates with his own. Hogan comes off the ropes with a running punch which knocks Orndorff down to a pop. Heenan jumps on the apron. Hogan attempts to hit him but Heenan jumps off in time. The distraction allows Orndorff to clothesline Hogan over and out of the ring. Orndorff continues to hammer away. He attempts to ram Hogan on the apron but Hogan blocks and rams Orndorff. Back in the ring, Hogan works over Orndorff and rams him to the turnbuckle. Orndorff gets rammed again. Hogan follows with a headbutt. Orndorff gets whipped to the corner and Hogan follows with a charging clothesline. Heenan jumps back on the apron and goes for something in his pocket. Hogan nails him off the apron but Orndorff catches Hogan in the throat to boos. Orndorff comes off with an elbow drop and the two knee drops follow. Orndorff works over Hogan on the apron and drops an elbow to the throat with Hogan rolls out and falling onto the timekeeper.

Orndorff follows and starts choking with the mic cord. Orndorff nails Hogan with the mic. Hogan tries to climb back but gets kneed and falls to the floor. Hogan gets back in but gets rammed into the canvas. Orndorff drops a knee and rakes Hogan with his boot. Orndorff comes off the second rope with a knee drop and chokes Hogan with his knee to boos. Throat chop gets 2. Suplex gets 2. Hogan reverse an irish whip and catches Orndorff with a jumping knee to a pop. Hogan hits a bodyslam and runs the ropes but Heenan grabs the ankle. Orndorff charges but Hogan dodges and Orndorff falls out of the ring. The referee orders security eject Heenan out of the building as we go to commercial. We're back and Heenan is outside. Hogan chases Orndorff outside the ring but Orndorff jumps Hogan coming back in. Orndorff drops a forearm. Elbow drop and more choking. Orndorff hits a backbreaker and comes off with an elbow drop get 2. Orndorff hits a short arm clothesline and signals for the piledriver. Orndorff attempts the piledriver but gets back body dropped. Orndorff hammers away but Hogan hulks up. Hogan comes back with three punches, whips Orndorff to the ropes, and comes off the other side with a running forearm. More punching which drop Orndorff to a pop. Hogan nails a clothesline. Hogan attempts the piledriver but Adrian Adonis comes out of the crowd and attacks Hogan for the disqualification at 10:00. Afterwards, Hogan gets double teamed until Roddy Piper comes out. Piper nails Adonis with his crutch which sends Adonis out and seemingly injures his arm. Hogan whips Orndorff into Piper but Orndorff dodges the crutch and escapes. Piper swings at Hogan and misses. The two tease a confrontation but Piper leaves and Hogan does his posing.

Thoughts: ***1/2 Very good match. Like my opinion of The Big Event, you got two guys with good chemistry and great in their roles. Crowd was into it which obviously helps. I liked Hogan before and during this match like storming the ring past Okerlund or doing moves like a headbutt as you got the impression he was pissed. The disqualification finish made sense since there was still legs in this feud and at least one more big match between them as we will see in a few months from now.

We get a pre-taped interview of Okerlund interviewing Jake "The Snake" Roberts in the shower. Okerlund asks why are they in the shower because Roberts said it's because it's his time, Okerlund wanted to talk to him while he and Damien didn't ask to talk to Okerlund. We get clips of Roberts DDTing Steamboat at the previous Saturday Night's Main Event. Roberts says Okerlund remembers it better than Steamboat. He tells Steamboat it's more shameful to deny fear than it is to run from danger and that he's stepping to where no man has stepped before. We get clips of The Big Event where Steamboat defeated Roberts. Roberts says he doesn't recall that. Okerlund says he's a sick man and asks if tonight is the rubber match. Roberts says if Okerlund thinks Steamboat can beat him then he should go back and sell encyclopedias. Okerlund says he's never done that while Roberts says he couldn't even do that. Typical great Roberts promo.

We get pre-tape comments from Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat and his Komono Dragon. Steamboat tells all the SNME watchers to meet the dragon but keep your distance and the dragon will keep his. He says if you get too close, he might harm you. Steamboat says he's here and the dragon is here to teach Roberts a lesson. Short but sweet promo from Steamboat.

Snake Pit Match: Ricky Steamboat vs. Jake Roberts- They tie up to start and Steamboat gets a waistlock. Roberts tries for an arm wringer but Steamboat gets his own. Roberts misses a punch and takes a chop. Back to the arm wringer. Another punch misses while another chop connects. Back to the arm wringer. Steamboat gets an armlock and back body drop Roberts for 2. Armdrag and an armbar. Steamboat gets Roberts near his bag and Roberts touches it. Roberts muscles Steamboat to the ropes and punches the stomach. Steamboat reverses a whip to the ropes, leapfrogs, Roberts comes off, and Steamboat connects with a flapjack for 2. Roberts bails and Steamboat follows. Back in Roberts runs the ropes, Steamboat drops down to the canvas, Roberts jumps over, comes off the ropes, and Steamboat catches him with an armdrag as the crowd is loving it. Steamboat works another armbar as Roberts kicks at Steamboat's bag. Roberts pokes the eyes and whips Steamboat into the corner but Roberts misses the charge. Steamboat slingshots Roberts and chops him on the way down. Steamboat climbs to the top. Steamboat attempts the diving splash but Roberts gets the knees up.

Both go for their bags but Roberts then decides to stop Steamboat from reaching his bag. Gutbuster gets 2. Roberts stomps on the hand. Roberts whips Steamboat to the ropes and catches him with a tackle to the stomach. Right hand and short arm clothesline follow as the crowd is hot. Roberts waits a few seconds to cover and gets 2. Roberts hits a bodyslam and drops several knees to the stomach before driving his knee into the stomach while pulling back on Steamboat's hair. Steamboat attempts the comeback with chops but Roberts kicks him in the ribs then hits a kneelift. Beautiful uppercut from Roberts. Snapmare gets 2. Steamboat slams Roberts face first into the canvas but Roberts comes back with an inverted atomic drop. Roberts whips Steamboat to the ropes but Steamboat rebounds by catching Roberts with a crucifix to win at 6:19. Afterwards, Roberts knocks Steamboat out of the ring by coming off the ropes with a knee to the back. From there he rams Steamboat to the ring post repeatedly and throws him back in. Roberts gets Damien but Steamboat gets the dragon out and scares Roberts off.

Thoughts: **1/2 Started slow but picked up as it went on. I loved the psychology of Roberts working over the ribs and Roberts being distracted by the komono dragon. This match and feud are one of the few times in Roberts' career that he didn't have a psychological advantage and was even getting psyched out at times. The only weakness was this was billed as a Snake Pit which should mean No DQ but they never took advantage of the stip. This was largely the end of the feud as Steamboat would soon start his biggest program which led to his biggest moment of his WWF run.

Okerlund interviews Hulk Hogan with Okerlund saying it was one of the most bizarre title matches. Hogan admits it was one of the most bizarre title matches he's ever had. He says what turned him on was 20,000 Hulkamaniacs in the juror's box saying “guilty as charged, Mr. Wonderful”. Hogan says just as he was about to pass the eternal sentence of Hulkamania, Bobby Heenan found a loophole but got thrown out of the countroom. He says he doesn't want Piper near his courtroom or combat zome even if he was going after Adonis because doesn't trust him. Okerlund admits that Hogan came within an eyelash of losing. Hogan says to Okerlund to get off that because he knows what his priorities are. He calls out Heenan and says he and The Hulkamanics will prosecute Heenan and Orndorff. Hogan says his Hulkamaniacs will says thumbs down to Heenan and Orndorff as Hulkamania says “guilty as charged”. A lackluster promo as I wasn't into the whole “courtroom” stuff though I did like how he still doesn't like Piper which makes sense given their history. Just because Piper is a babyface, doesn't mean these two should be pals all of a sudden.

We get footage from earlier where Ventura welcomes Slick and The Iron Sheik to the building who come in a limo which impresses Ventura. Slick says they came in a limo because he wants the Sheik happy. He says a happy wrestler is a championship wrestler. Slick says the Sheik will be the next heavyweight champion of the world. Ventura brings up Sheik was supposed to face Piper but he's hurt so will a substitute throw them off. Slick says he always knew Piper was a yellow coward. He says versatility is the name of the game and to make it in the World Wrestling Federation, you got to go with the flow. Slick says Sheik's future is as big as this bad limo. Sheik says he's ready and poses. Solid promo from Slick while Sheik was short and did his bit which is fine.

The Iron Sheik (w/Slick) vs. Pedro Morales- Morales is replacing Roddy Piper. Slick had just come in to the WWF two months earlier at this point as was brought in to replace the retiring "Classy" Freddie Blassie who retired around this point with the story being Slick bought half of Blassie's wrestlers contracts in August with the two becoming co-managers of Sheik, Nikolai Volkoff, and Hercules Hernandez. Eventually, Blassie was phased out after a few weeks with Slick quietly buying Blassie out. Match never happens as Piper comes out and demands Morales leave. If he doesn't then he threatens to hit him with the crutch. Morales obliges so that leads to........

Roddy Piper vs. The Iron Sheik (w/Slick)- Sheik charges but takes two shots with the crutch. Piper kicks Sheiks ass and chases Slick out of the ring. Sheik jumps Piper and chokes him with his t-shirt. Sheik goes for the leg and works over Piper. Sheik attempts a suplex but Piper reverses into a small package while grabbing the trunks giving Piper the win at 43 seconds.

Thoughts: DUD Too quick to mean anything though Piper had some nice punches. I don't get why the Sheik lost like this. I get it wouldn't make sense for Piper to wrestle a long match with a bad knee but feels weird to quickly job out a former WWF Champion and Tag Team Champion. Was Tiger Chung Lee or "Iron" Mike Sharpe not available?

Okerlund interviews "Luscious" Johnny V and the Dream Team. Johnny accuses Okerlund of being in on a conspiracy. A conspiracy to rob the Dream Team of the Tag Team Championship. We get clips of the British Bulldogs winning the Title Team Titles at Wrestlemania 2. Okerlund says he didn't see anything and asks Valentine about. Valentine says you'll see and then Beefcake says the people know the belt is theirs and they'll do whatever it takes to get it back. Johnny finishes saying either Okerlund is blind or a liar and he knows Okerlund isn't blind. Eh promo as Johnny doesn't do much for me and Valentine and Beefcake were short but nothing special.

Okerlund interviews "Rowdy" Roddy Piper and asks how he could defy doctor's orders and go out and wrestle the Sheik. Piper says he went out there to wrestle because he does what he wants. He says if Okerlund says he's insane, he thanks him. He asks Adonis if he thinks Piper is insane. He asks if Adonis thinks with his dress on, he's going to run to the ring, mess him up, that he's going to take it, and not go out and beat him to a pulp. He says he's a man and asks if he thinks a thing like a knee injury is going to stop him. He says he fights for a living and once you carry a big stick, you don't have to walk softly anymore. Okerlund says Piper jeopardized his career going out there but he did get the win. Piper says because he's Roddy Piper and you're not. A pretty good Piper promo.

We get a pre-taped interview of Okerlund interviewing the British Bulldogs. Dynamite Kid says the Dream Team underestimated them at Wrestlemania 2 and that it could be World War III so The Dream Team should get ready for the best beating of their lives. Short but to the point.

WWF World Tag Team Championship/2 Out of 3 Falls: The British Bulldogs (c) vs. The Dream Team (w/"Luscious" Johnny V)- This is a rematch from Wrestlemania 2. "Captain" Lou Albano is absent for some reason. Speaking of Albano, he would leave the WWF a month later to venture into Hollywood. What is it with 2 out of 3 fall tag team matches? They became a SNME signature.

First Fall: Dynamite and Valentine start. Valentine attempts a kick but gets caught and Dynamite hits an atomic drop. The Bulldogs hit Valentine with headbutts and punches. Valentine and Dynamite trade forearms and Valentine gets Dynamite into the corner. Valentine puts Dynamite's leg on the ropes and knees it several times. Dynamite falls to the canvas and Valentine stomps the knee. Tag to Beefcake, who hits a suplex. Beefcake hyper extends the leg but Dynamite still is able to tag to Smith. Smith and Beefcake exchange arm wringers with Smith winning. Smith picks Beefcake up with his wrist and drops him to the canvas. Smith gets a hammerlock but Beefcake reverses into his own. Smith tries to flip backward but Beefcake releases the hold and drops Smith to the canvas. Tag to Valentine. Valentine nails a diving elbow into Smith as Beefcake holds him. Elbow drop gets 2. Valentine gets some arm wringers as Smith tries to fight back but Valentine gets a drop toe hold. Tag to Beefcake, who nails a knee lift for 2. Tag to Valentine. Beefcake hits a bodyslam but Valentine misses an elbow. Tag to Dynamite and the two trade blows. Dynamite knocks Valentine down with a chop. Dynamite gets a headbutt and works over Valentine. Valentine comes back with an inverted atomic drop. Shoulder breaker gets 2. Valentine whips Beefcake to the ropes and catches him with a clothesline for 2. Tag to Beefcake. Beefcake works Dynamite over with elbows and forearms before covering for 2. Tag to Valentine. Valentine headbutts the hamstrings. Dynamite gets whipped to the ropes but rebounds with a forearm. Dynamite attempts a suplex but Valentine forearms the back. Valentine applies the Figure Four Leglock. Beefcake prevents Smith from breaking it up and Dynamite is forced to give up in 4:41. Ventura is funny as he celebrates until he remembers it's under the silly "European rules" (2 out of 3 falls).

 
Before the second fall, Okerlund updates us on Adrian Adonis. He says Adonis has a possible shoulder separation. We get a replay of Piper nailing Adonis in the arm with the crutch as we go to commercial. As the story apparently goes, this was supposed to write Adonis off as he apparently was fired following this. However, he would be brought back in December when Piper's house show matches with Muraco and Orton apparently didn't draw well.

Second Fall: We're back with the second fall as Valentine is working over Dynamite. Valentine drives the knee to Dynamite's injured knee. Figure four attempt but Dynamite kicks Valentine off. Tag to Beefcake. Beefcake stomps on the knee and nails Smith. Smith tries to get at Beefcake but ref prevents it. During this time, the Dream Team illegally double team Dynamite by hype extending both legs. The Dream Team switch without a tag. Valentine works over the knee and tags Beefcake. Beefcake stomps the knee and stomach. Beefcake struts and spits on Smith which results in Smith trying to come in. More illegal double teaming behind the ref as Beefcake holds Dynamite while Valentine comes off the ropes with a forearm. Beefcake covers for 2. Big backbreaker gets 2. Tag to Valentine. Valentine drops a forearm and gets the bodyslam but misses the second turnbuckle elbow drop. Hot tag to Smith to a big pop. Smith cleans house with a headbutt. Smith whips Valentine to the ropes and catches him with a clothesline. Beefcake comes in but gets dropkicked. Another headbutt and suplex get 2 for Smith. Smith hits the running powerslam but Beefcake comes in to break it at 2. Beefcake gets hoisted on Smith's shoulders in a firemen's carry position. Tag to Dynamite who climbs on top of Beefcake and nails a diving headbutt for the pin in 7:10 and tying it 1-1 to a pop.

Third Fall: We're back from commercial with the third fall. Beefcake comes in but the ref orders Valentine in since he's legal. Valentine attacks the knee and works over Dynamite in the corner. Dynamite fights out of the corner and headbutts Valentine. Snap Suplex follows. Dynamite drops a headbutt but misses. Valentine drops an elbow and forearm for 2. Ventura gets a note and announces Adonis suffered a shattered elbow from Piper's attack. Beefcake distracts the ref as Dynamite tags Smith resulting in a false tag spot. Beefcake comes in and hits a forearm from the second turnbuckle as Valentine holds Dynamite. Valentine covers for 2. Valentine hyper extends the leg but Dynamite blocks the figure four. Tag to Beefcake and hot tag to Smith. Beefcake knocks Smith down with an elbow and stomps away. Beefcake covers for 2. Beefcake whips Smith to the ropes and catches him with a back body drop. Beefcake covers for 2. Beefcake whips Smith to the ropes and catches him with a clothesline for 2. Beefcake chokes and headbutts the hamstrings for 2. Beefcake whips Smith to the ropes but drops his head too early and Smith comes off with a sunset flip for 2. Beefcake grinds his boot into Smith's face. Beefcake pushes Dynamite which results in Dynamite coming in and distracting the ref. More illegal double teaming as Valentine snaps Smith's neck into the top rope. Tag to Valentine. Valentine jumps off the second rope and drives his knee into Smith. Suplex gets 2. Tag to Beefcake. Beefcake whips Smith to the ropes and catches him with a jumping knee. Beefcake attempts the pin but Dynamite pulls him off at 1. All four are now in the ring. Beefcake whips Smith into the ropes but misses the jumping knee. Smith hits a fisherman's suplex to retain at 13:09 to a big pop.

Thoughts: **** Awesome match with good action, spots, and good crowd. These two teams had great chemistry. The Bulldogs were their usual, awesome, "never say die"-selves. The Dream Team are an underrated team. Valentine and Beefcake were not only a great team but were excellent heels. They knew when to pick their spots. I like the finish to the second fall and Smith hitting a fisherman's suplex which wasn't common in 1986. The only issue was the heels being allowed to illegally switch once while we got a false tag spot. Hate that.

We get a pre-recorded interview of Okerlund interviewing The Wizard, Kamala, and Kim Chee. Okerlund asks what to expect but Wizard says he would have to be seven times a fool to tell Okerlund anything. Wizard says the tribal make up goes back thousands of years and only Kamala and his clan know the reason behind the make up and are still alive with Wizard then asking Okerlund if he still wants to know but Okerlund declines and welcomes Kamala back. Ok promo.

Kamala (w/The Wizard & Kim Chee) vs. Lanny Poffo- The Wizard is Former WWWF World Tag Team Champion King Curtis Iaukea. Iaukea is also perhaps best known to modern day fans as the Master of the Dungeon of Doom in WCW. He also achieved success in various American Territories as well as the Australian World Championship Wrestling promotion from the 1950s to 1980s. I believe he was also the legit uncle of former All Japan wrestler Manuakea Mossman/Taiyo Kea. Kim Chee is Steve "Brooklyn Brawler" Lombardi.

Kamala traps Poffo in the corner but misses a chop and Poffo backflips. Kamala throws Poffo across the ring but Poffo kips up. Kamala gets Poffo in the corner and hits several chops. Kamala hits a back kick to the stomach. Kamala hits a chop to the back of the neck. Kamala whips Poffo to the ropes and catches him with another chop. Kamala hits two side kicks. Poffo gets rammed into the turnbuckles. Throat toss and another chop. Kamala whips Poffo to the ropes but misses a double chop. Poffo starts throwing punches but Kamala regains control with a rake to the eyes. Kamala whips Poffo to the ropes and catches him with a double chop to the throat. Kamala hits a bodyslam and comes off with Air Africa to win at 1:44. After the match, Kamala climbs the top turnbuckle but Kim Chee and Wizard convince him to come down.

Thoughts: DUD Match served it's purpose but not an exciting squash. Kamala is no Sycho Sid or Goldberg or Road Warriors in terms of exciting squash wrestlers.

Vince and Ventura recap the event before going to commercial.

Vince and Ventura close the show.

Final Thoughts and Verdict
SNME VII was a big improvement over VI. Storylines advanced and we got some good to great matches. The Tag Title is as great as their Wrestlemania 2 match while Steamboat/Roberts and Hogan/Orndorff were their usual good to very good standards. The only weaknesses were the squashes but they weren't horrible. Worth seeing.

Recommended.

Saturday Night's Main Event VII Facts
Jesse Ventura returned to SNME at Saturday Night's Main Event VII. He would call every SNME through Saturday Night's Main Event XXVII in July 1990.

Saturday Night's Main Event VII ties with Saturday Night's Main Event X with the highest attendance in the history of SNME with 21,000 fans.